What Was Your Most Interesting Job Ever?

I love to tell stories while sharing pictures at the same time. It is a shame I do not have more pictures of me working.

One summer I worked at Moulin Rouge in Budapest. A friend of mine got me the job. We were working with 3-4 old ladies. Our job was to sew glitters or feathers on thongs and we had to make sure the costumes were a perfect fit for the performers. I can sew up a button (or feathers…) but that is about it. And I am slow. Really slow. While I finished decorating 1 thong the little old ladies finished 10.

We were getting very close to the opening of the show which was about Cleopatra. The assistant of the costume designer walked up to me and said: “The Roman soldiers need you.”
I remember how shy I became when approaching these fake tanned, buff men, who were all wearing thongs! They were thirsty. They asked me to get them some mineral water. 
End of my story. See?! You wish I would have pictures of this…

The good news is that I managed to find some pictures that show me at my work place.

If you are not the visual type to look at pictures. Here is my question straight away: what was Your most interesting job?

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This was me working as a psychologist with alcohol dependent people. Yeah go ahead…make a joke… HAHA

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Me working as a psychologist at a health institution before we moved to Thailand.

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My view from my window.

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In front of my room was a bench for the next patient to sit on while waiting for her/his appointment.

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When the evening came I worked at a Japanese karaoke club. I was a hostess with a bunch of other girls. We sang and giggled with Japanese business men as done traditionally in Japan. 
You kept your job if you were able to find someone who requested you to be his hostess regularly. You were payed triple by the hour if it was a specific request. I found a father figure for myself and when S-san was sent back to Japan I cried than quit. 

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This is what a typical night looked like. The note pads were used to request songs for karaoke singing. It was also how we communicated with the waiters. I never drank alcohol at the club. (I am the girl with the white sandals by the way…)

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But I did sing in Japanese!

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I joked around a lot. You see these men work like animals and they really just want their minds off of everything. Everything serious that is…

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So we did childish things.

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We celebrated birthdays.

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And we showed joy when we received a present from Japan.

Your turn! What was Your most interesting job?

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Do You Like To Answer Questions?

I like to answer questions but I am too young for a bloggers award (I started blogging less than 2 months ago) and I haven’t been tagged yet. Both is understandable. HAHA

A Opinionated Man created a project that involves answering questions. He is a blogger that writes HarsH ReaLiTy. For some reason I am challenged with this linking business so let me make sure I got this right:
http://aopinionatedman.com/category/project-o/

Question 1: Please provide a window into who you are, some background information in a not too overwhelming profile here. I am allowing you as the writer to immediately connect with your audience so take advantage. Remember the point of ordering these questions is to arrange this project so it is easy for comparison and not to constrain you as the writer. Write as long as you need to for each question to get your point across just remember not to lose the reader.

The background information would be about how I grew up I suppose.
 I was born in Hungary during communism.
Imagine a room-and-a-half-apartment where the kitchen and bathroom had no heating. Six of us lived there.
My father signed a petition that was not to the government’s liking so he was not allowed to be hired to take a job for ten years.
My parents had people over to discuss matters that could have not been talked about openly. Some friends were put in to jail. Freely expressing yourself was not aloud at the time in Hungary.
My father got a scholarship in the United States to do research on a philosopher. We went after him after a year. We became illegal emigrants.
We returned to Hungary in 1989. End of communism. A few years after, my parents got divorced. I started repressing my childhood memories, at the same time my older sister started remembering every little detail of her childhood. She and my older brother became depressed and angry. That is how I see them though we do not talk anymore.
At age 15 or 16 my younger sister and I followed our mother back to the States.  After a year of struggling to find friends I flew back to Hungary by myself. I lived in a dorm and I asked people to take me in on weekends and during school holidays.
I studied psychology for 7 years. My first job with mentally disturbed teenagers was in England. By that time I already lived with my fiancé (who is now my husband). He was managing a cocktail bar.
We moved back to Hungary for a few years. I worked as a psychologist, my husband was a general manager in hotels. We moved to Thailand for 2 years when the opportunity came. After 10 IUI-s and 1 miscarriage we were expecting our beautiful son. My husband was admitted to start an MBA program in Spain. I gave birth in Barcelona. And a year later we are back in Thailand.

Question 2: If you haven’t already done so please provide your country of origin, whether you are male or female, an age would be nice, and where you currently live if that differs from the country of origin. If you are in America this might be a nice time to explain what state you are from. Also try to give us a brief view of your current neighborhood and what it is like in as specific terms as you like. Why is this important? I believe our surroundings and where we come from have a strong impact on our development of opinions. It would also be highly likely that depending on the safety of the country might also determine how willing one is to express their opinions aloud. Does sex also have something to do with this, as well as age? These are all characteristics that can definitely affect a person’s outlook.

I will be 34 in November. I live on Koh Samui which is very much different from Budapest. I can only express my views in a very modest and polite way since we live in a five star hotel. I cannot say anything that would offend the people working for my husband. I have to show a very cheerful side of me whenever I talk with guests. I am fine with this. Expressing your opinion can be over-rated. There are situations where you put on a show because that is how you can support your loved ones.

Question 3: Recount the first time you remember having a differing opinion from someone significantly older than you. Do you remember what the topic was about? Did you voice your opinion or hold it to yourself?

Since I come from a family where freedom of speech was very important I joined the debate team in high school and I always had a strong point of view. In university I told several teachers that they are here to teach us so listening to their stories about their own depression is a waste of time. This is not something I am proud of. I now look up to people who can control the big need to always share what is on your mind.

Question 4: What levels of respect were practiced around you when you were a child? Was there bowing involved, handshakes, “yes Sirs and yes Ma’ams,” or some other equivalent respectfulness in your culture’s tongue? Is an honorific given to someone older than you and do you often respect and practice that? How might the culture you were brought up in have affected the growth of your own opinions?

I have very little respect for my parents which they are sorry about now that they are older. This is what happens when your parenting is about big freedom, no rules, just do whatever rocks your boat. My father is a philosopher and he can write very clever books on the rights of children the only thing he is incapable of is listening to his own children. He does not know what the word caring means.

Question 6: If you could share an opinion on a single international incident or topic that you either feel strongly about or that might not be known to the rest of the world what would it be? You have our attention.

I do not follow the news of the world unless it is told to me by my husband. In those cases I enjoy discussing politics but generally speaking I do not enjoy watching or reading about the misery of the world. As I mentioned I worked as a psychologist. I heard many, many sad stories.

Question 7: What does the right to an opinion mean to you? Is it essential to freedom to have this right? How far would you go to protect that ability? The world is on fire with people of passion, how passionate are you about things you value?

I like a good debate but I always have to be careful. Knowing how to debate well does not mean you are right. Another thing that I do too often is point out to people how they are in denial about something. This does not help one make friends. Friendship to me is more important than being a person who ALWAYS has an opinion on everything…

Question 8: Is it ever right for you to be allowed an opinion while someone else is denied that same right on the same topic?

This question is hard to understand. I find it pretentious.

Question 9: The last question. upon completing this template and hopefully contemplating the issue what does this project mean to you? How can Project O potentially enlighten or help the world?

I like to hear about projects that someone does with big enthusiasm. I thought I could contribute by answering these questions. I like to answer questions. I cannot wait for my first “you are tagged experience” in the world of blogging. 

What To Buy Babies?

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Get a ball for your baby and let us move on! -just joking. Though I did buy a lot of balls for Zoárd. My husband was a professional basketball player…

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Enough bragging. 

I like themed topics. I like to look at the shopping basket of others. I even say in my head: “oh, I would live with you”, ” oh no, I would starve in your home”.

So I am interested in what others are buying for their babies.

If you wish to add your list in the comments feel free to do so.

Here are all the things I bought for Zoárd. If I bought something in many colors I probably only pinned one to show an example.
http://pinterest.com/coconutbunny/shopping-for-our-son/

This is Danielle’s board ( from: http://aweenest.wordpress.com/ )
http://pinterest.com/daniellebenda/birdies-board/

Elle was also kind enough to share her board (from: http://an-ayla-a-day.com/)
http://pinterest.com/elshonner/my-baby-recommendations/

Fanni sent her recommendations as a list and I am a bit worried about this one…
Her blog is:  http://theblackberryboys.wordpress.com/
Her list is… Sorry I do not know how to copy a long pdf file in to my blog. I tried. Fanni if you read this please make a pinterest board or comment with a link.

OK I need a rest. HAHA

How To Dress Boys – Men Of The Future

I am excited about this “fashion” post of mine.
But first here is a little reminder: please send your recommendations to my email: webcamshrink@gmail.com
You can send me a list or a Pinterest board of all the things you bought your child (unborn or born) and you wish to recommend to other mothers.
I wrote about this idea of mine at the beginning of this post:

https://kukolina.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/zoard-everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-his-name/

Back to how to dress boys…

If the question is how should I dress my baby (my son in this particular case). My answer is the same you can hear many times here in Thailand:
“It is up to you!”. Followed by a big, genuine smile.

Now that we live on an island where the weather is always hot. Zoárd has very little clothes on.  If you are interested to see a picture of him in his cloth diapers I suggest you look at this post:

https://kukolina.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/a-wizard-visited-me/

So back to the world of how to dress…
I hope my son will understand that even though the world of fashion can be confusing it is fun once you master it…

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You can always go with dressing as a bear. My personal recommendations are: polar bear and koala.

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A safe solution for all times is elegance.

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I think it is great when you will hear people talk about you and look at your outfits with great interest

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As I keep saying: “bring those colors out!”
https://kukolina.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/bring-those-colors-out/

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Even when you are sleeping… Colors will make colorful dreams…

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Your confidence comes within you. If you are a real MAN you do not need to prove to the world how macho you are.
Do not be afraid to put on a light cardigan… And you are never too young to accessorize..
Your daddy will recommend a watch I think…

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I think dressing similarly as your loved ones time to time is a real fun. Do not ever listen to those who say this will make you loose your identity… That is just silly!

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In Project Runway (designers compete with one and other) Michael Kors (one of the judges of this Tv show) said with irony: “how practical”.
Well  even if not always, but dressing in a practical way can be amongst your priorities when travelling. Loose fitted and warm clothes work the best.

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Never be afraid to experiment!!!

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Are You Adult Enough?

Go ahead ask me!
“Are you adult enough?” “Are you RESPONSIBLE?”

I am sure my parenting skills would be questioned no matter where we lived. Questioned but in a curious way. I hope.

Do they give out a different kind of diploma-“for being a good mother” if you live in a strange environment?

How do You handle these situations? I really want to know. Really, really, really.

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Situation number 1:
Eating unhealthy food.
I do it time to time. Maybe often now that we moved back in to the hotel.
It is so difficult for me to eat at the restaurant with Zoárd.
The mini bar is small. We have to put the left overs from the previous night in it.
These 2 pies hardly had any room. So I ate most of them for breakfast. Baaaaaaaaaaad!

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Situation number 2 already in a question form:
“How do you watch those who need watching while washing your hair?”
Those who need watching… I was very secretive with this…HAHA
I think there was no hot water in the morning.
So I had to wash my hair when I was already dressed. Zoárd was on the floor. Waiting for his new diaper.

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Situation number 3:
Fresh air.
It is so freaking hot outside. And I cannot put Zoárd down in the grass. Snakes, scorpions…
Look at the picture again. We are on top of the squash court. This is not real grass…

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Situation number 4:
Socializing.
I asked my husband yesterday: what would you do differently if you were me?
He said he would leave the room more often and chat with the hotel’s guests.
So I took his advice out of curiosity to see if it would make a difference in my day.
My pick-up-line was: “could you take a picture of me please?” The couple that I approached took a picture of Zoárd and I using group effort.
And our new friendship ended here.
I feel strange around people who are on a holiday. When I am not on MY holiday. Does this make sense?!

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Situation number 5:
Mindfulness.
I used to be good at focusing on Zoárd. And I am still not horrible but sometimes I wish someone would play with him a little while I do my own things. And I am not proud of having these thoughts when I am actually with him.

Shrink Me Monday – My Husband Has a Problem With Me

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My husband thinks I spend too much money and we fight over this all the time…”

From a psychologist’s point of view this question is about control and essential values.

In an ideal world men and women discuss the most important issues involving their life together BEFORE they tie the knot.

I assume the “who spends how much”-topic was crucial for this couple even before they got married. Perhaps they thought “it will get better” or that it isn’t “such a big deal”. Another scenario that I can imagine is that something changed in the balance of their financial scale. 

This can happen for example, when the woman stays at home with the children.

Let me share how it was with us…

We were poor together. We worked hard and saved up together. We spent together. We spent a lot separately as well.
Our first argument about money only came up more than eight years of being together.

Arguing about money is always symbolic. 

I remember we talked for a long time about all the fears my husband had. I did spend a lot on maternity clothes and I ordered nursing tops from Sweden. The price of make-up in itself can cause a smaller heart attack for men. But this was not about clothes and cosmetics. It was about anxiety. Some were rooted in deep. 

The healing began by talking a lot. Sharing stories is vital.  They tell you where the other person’s feeling of security or insecurity originates. 

We also started a sort of home work together every night. We each had to write down 3 things that were good that day. We called it a Being Grateful-Diary. This is a great exercise when a couple is struggling with something emotionally. A Being Grateful-Diary collects the positive aspects of life. This is also a way of seeing what is important to the other person. 

What do you think: how can arguments about money be handled? 

Zoárd – Everything You Wanted To Know About His Name

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I promised to tell the story of our son’s name but I have other ideas for next week’s posts that I would like to start off with.

Monday I will do Shrink Me Monday but for Thursday(!) here is what I thought…

I would love to share the things I bought for Zoárd (since he was born). The list would contain everything that I would recommend. And it won’t be a “list”. It will be link to one of my Pinterest boards. So if anyone wants to participate in this here is my idea…

Create a Pinterest board of things you bought for your child (you can name it whatever fancies you) or you can also type in a list if you prefer that. 
The point is I would love to share Your recommendations. IF you are pregnant you can send me a list of everything you already bought. If you have older kids you can send me a list of things that you think other parents would find useful, cute etc.
Here is my email: webcamshrink@gmail.com

If you think my idea is good but there is a better way to do this please let me know!

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Back to Zoárd’s name. Here is a picture of him when he was 2 days old. I am showing you this so I can FOCUS on my post’s topic. HAHA

There are different rules that a country has when it comes to giving your child a name. Now in Hungary there are 2 important rules:
1. The name cannot be unisex.
2. The name has to be spelled “the Hungarian way”
For example, my name is Eszter; it couldn’t be spelled Esther.
And Zoárd has to be spelled with an á. (Zoárd was born in Spain but he is a Hungarian citizen.)

In 1982 a man called Janos Lado (with Hungarian spelling: Ladó János – our family name comes first) became the author of a book that contained all Hungarian first names. 
The book had a chapter of female names and a chapter of male names. After each name it said RECOMMENDED or APPROVED. If the name you wanted for your child was not listed in this book you had to get permission from the Academy that gave out the “approved” label to start out with. 

For example, my younger sister’s name: Danuta was not in the book of names. She had to be named something else and later my father was able to get the signature that made it possible for her to be Danuta as well.

In this book you were able to see the statistics of 1968. You would see a number next to every name that stated how many people in Hungary actually had that name. Zoárd had a 0. Zoárd was not “recommended” only “approved”.

Ten years after this book was published someone in my family bought it and gave it to me as a present. I was 13 years old at the time. The  book was fun because not only it told you how popular your name was (in 1968) but it also told you about your names origin, meaning and recommended pet names. Oh and it told you when to celebrate people with that certain name. This is called a Name Day.
For example, all Eszter-s are celebrated on the 24th of May.  My Facebook page will be full of Happy Name Day!-s on that day. Yes, you even get presents if that was the tradition in your family…

This book inspired me to start a novel. My main character was called Atalanta (picked out from the Book of Names -not recommended but approved).
Atalanta was 13 years old and “surprisingly” she had a lot in common with me. She hated cigarettes but she loved pastries. She liked to wear colorful clothes. She wanted a boyfriend but she did not want to rush in to anything.

The novel became really long. I was a determined 13 year old. HAHA This post is getting very long too… 

OK: so I had to end the novel. The last chapter showed the readers what happened to Atalanta.
Atalanta became a psychologist. /Did I just cough?!/
She had a 3 year old son. She was 25 years old. (When I was 13 I thought women normally gave birth at 22 years of age…)

Would you like to guess the name of Atalanta’s son? It starts with a Z… Ends with a D…. HAHA

Do you have a good story related to Your name or someone else’s name?